


It's A Gun (But I'm Happy to See You)

by noga1290



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Clint Barton & Tony Stark Friendship, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, F/M, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Misunderstandings, More Misunderstandings, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Protective Steve, Spies & Secret Agents, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, evil obadiah stane, wtf is going on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:44:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9452804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noga1290/pseuds/noga1290
Summary: Nature always tries to balance itself.So when Tony has lost four out of the seven people he trusted, nature gave him another four.





	1. First (and possibly last) Impression - part 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [secret agent Tony Stark AU](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/258902) by hello-shellhead. 



"They're not stopping!" Clint shouted above the wind and the sound of the helicopter. "Neither are we." Tony answered, the base in the skies getting closer and closer. 

"This is the last warning!" shouted Captain America over the radio, his voice scrappy. Tony could see the missiles' heads even through the clouds, a shiny silver that points towards both of them. "Terroists in six oclock!" he heard Clint's shout, his head snapping between both of the enemies. "There's no safe exit now!" 

Tony took a deep breath. "There is." he said, and pushed the red button in front of him.

All he could hear while he fell was Clint's shout, his open hand trying to reach him as he fell into the unknown, his repulsors adjusting themselves in order to make his landing as soft as they could.

"Thanks, Obi." he whispered, the wind snapping his words as soon as they left his lips.

 

*******

The morning began as a lovely pillow hit his face.

"We'll be late! Come on, Tony!" Clint shouted from the other side of the room, jumping around as he tried to put a pair of pants on.

"Do you need any help?" mumbled Tony as he passed next to him and bended, which made the second pillow miss his head and hit the wall instead. However, Tony didn't miss the nasty curses that followed his back until he closed the door of the bathroom.

Another great morning.

After half an hour Tony looked into the mirror, and the person that came in was gone; the man who stood there now was a sassy, fresh bussiness man, with a beard and a mustache shaped like someone drew them with a ruler, and a suit that matched his dark hair, the dark-red tie matching the red of his Rolex regular watch, a smirk dancing on his lips.

In conclusion: he was handsome.

Clint, however, didn't seem very impressed from his beauty. "I look better." he said, handing Tony his gun and HUDglasses. In response, the amateure engineer snored. "Yeah, keep living in a fantasy." he answered as his shoes adjusted themselves to his feet, making himself a cup of coffee.

"Oh, nonesence. Of course I look better." said Clint and lifted his finger in the air. "First, I'm a blond. Everybody loves blonds." he raised another one. "Second, I'm buff." and another one. "I'm taller than you." another one. "Witty and charming." he lifted his last finger. "And... much better than you in any other possible way."

Tony smirked. "Girls look for the brain, Sugar. They won't even think about you." Clint frowned and sticked his tongue out as a response.

"Very mature." answered Tony, and a laugh was heard. "Look who's talking." said Obadiah, his silver hair shining in the lights of the house. A warm smile found its way to Tony's face. "Obi, my man! What brings you over here?" he asked, offering the old man a cup of tea. Obadiah took it and nodded in respond with gratitude.

"I'm afraid that's bad news." Answered Obadiah, puting his suitcase on the table and opening it wide so both of the secret agents could see.

"It can't be." Tony declared a few seconds after. "Rogers is dead. I thought Jarvis and Carter took care of it in your own hands after you found out that he was a Hydra supporter." "They sent Barnes, didn't they?" asked Clint. 

Obi shook his head. "It wasn't so simple. Howard wanted to keep it quiet, away from the public. It would have been a mess- an enemy agent, so close to the chain of command. And sending two of SHIELD's best agents wouldn't have done the job. We sent James, but the poor man died in the fight. In the end, we decided to let Rogers think that we don't know. We sent him into a 'fight' with the Red Skull, and crushed both of them into the Atlantic Sea for enternal sleep. Or so have we thought."

"And here he is." Tony said with a sigh. "The man just isn't willing to die." 

Clint sneered. "Just like every single man from this generation. What, did they gave you the water of the Fountain of Youth to drink?"

The old man laughed. "Yes, huh? To bad it doesn't keep their brain. Although, I can note that Howard, Carter and Jarvis are much happier in the nursing home. You know the idiom- ignorance is bliss." "-and Clint here is a very good example." declared Tony, earning a laugh from Obi and a kick from Clint. "Be careful on the shoes." Tony said, cleaning the dirt from them. 

"Oh, right, some of us need their shoes to make them beautiful." answered Clint, and Obi snapped his fingers, stopping Tony from answering. "That reminds me. I brought you your prototype." he handed Tony a box with two white shoes inside. 

Clint snapped the shoes, quickly wearing them. "Now fly!" he commanded, and before anyone could respond, his head bumped the ceiling floor and he fell into the ground with an 'oompf' sound.

"I knew it will happen! I designed it anti-Clint!" declared Tony, laughing so hard he almost fell from the couch. Clint threw the shoes on him, hitting.

Of course.

Perfect shot as always.

"Thanks, Obi." he said more seriously and the taller man smiled. "No problem. Just use it wisely tonight. Change in plans: focus on our dear Captain, leave Hydra for now."

Tony nodded and both of the agents stood up as Obadiah stepped out of the room. Not a few seconds passed and a fresh picture of Captain America was out of the printer.

"I'm getting this shot." Tony declared, pinning the picture on the targets' board.

 

*******

Two handsome men walk down the aisle; every camera man that took a picture of them will be surprised to find out later that somehow the picture was so light because of their tie, which was a reflector. He'll probably won't pay attention to it, but maybe a few days later he'll hear about the assasination of Captain America and will give it to the police, but it will be far too late and no use.

The man with the darker hair looked at the helicopter which stood on the top of the tower, staring it with interest, and then staring at his reflection at the glasses of the windows. His partner's eyes scanned the tower, the doors.

"Not bullet proof." Tony said, unable to smile. Clint was always calmer before of the missions, maybe because he was far more used to it. Tony felt like any moment someone will push a knife to his neck, but he didn't show it. Only Clint noticed the unusual calmness that Tony tried to show- he was standing straight, not moving even a bit. It was very far from the usual- normal Tony investigates, smells, sees, hears, lives the moment; his eyes jump between million things per second, and maybe that was the thing that made him much better tactican than Clint. The archer always lived the moment, processing fast, but Tony's mind already caught the small piece of information as the type of glass that the window was made of already seven minutes ago.

"Ready?" Clint asked, his eyes meeting Tony's for a second- the younger agent wasn't used to kill, despite what he tried to show.

Tony nodded. "Of course."

With those words, the agents split up.

 

*******

Tony's job wasn't  _that_ hard- he only needed to get closer to Captain America. Clint gets everybody's attention with archery show, as always, and Tony kills the target quietly.

He wondered if it will be hard to kill Rogers- from Peggy's stories, Barnes was a great field agent, only second to the combination of Jarvis and hers. And Rogers, of course. From the other side, she always told Tony how great was Steve, and for a while the Captain was indeed Tony's idol- but she went to the nursing house, for her own good. She couldn't see what Obi did- Steven Grant Rogers was a smart, dangerous man, who needed to be neutralized as fast as can be.

However, a touch on his shoulder suddenly stopped his thinking and Tony sighed as the thoughts escaped his brain; he always hated when it happened. Never leads to a good result.

Surprisingly, this time, the touch meant he was doing just great. A blond, buff, tall man, smiling warmly at him with his eyes shining had his hand on Tony's shoulder. "Hey. Can you pass me a glass of punch?"

Tony just stared, maybe because even for a brain like his, it was a truely surprising event. "...Hey?" he answered. The Captain smiled, and both of them stared each other for a while.

"The punch...?" Rogers reminded, and Tony almost jumped, his eyes wide open. "Oh, fuck, right, sorry." he took a glass and filled it with punch, handing it to the old Captain.

"Thank you very much." the Captain said, looking at him with a frown. He turned his back to Tony and began walking towards the dancing zone.

Shit. _'Do something!'_ shouted Tony's brain. He needed to stop Rogers from getting away. It was the perfect chance. He created the first contact, so he will be much less suspicous- that's a trick he learned from Clint. The Captain's body showed comfort and trust, like a good american hero.

Huh.

"Wait!" Tony shouted out loud, and Rogers turned around, as a few more people. "It's very rude of you to leave me like this." Tony stepped to his side, rubbing his hand along the Captain's wide shoulders. "Just ditch me on the bar, without even a dance? I thought that the old Cap has the classé of the forties, you know."

Rogers laughed. "Well, I'm a little bit rusty." he said, a little more tensed, and Tony quickly gestured at Clint, who was attaching most of the guests' attention as he threw knives on an apple which layed on someone's head, hitting perfectly. "Come on, nobody's watching."

Rogers looked at Clint, and then at Tony, and at Clint, and at Tony. "Well, I guess one dance will be alright." as soon as the words left the Captain's mouth he found Tony spinning into his arms. 

"Dancing is like fighting, my dear Captain." the smaller man said, leading Steve in slow stepps. "A complex of small, sharp moves, which sum up to a brilliant work of art. Well, I'm sure you know how to fight, don't you?"

The blond, still trying to understand how Tony convinced him to dance nodded. "Yeah." 

"Which kinds?" Tony turned on his heels, throwing himself to the Captain's arms which moved fast to catch him; he was warm and steady.

"Mostly face to face." he answered, and Tony hummed. "Can feel that, Sugar." he patted Rogers' bicep, and the other man turned red as Tony smirked.

"What's your name, anyway?" asked the Captain after a minute of intensed dancing. He looked at Tony with his big, blue eyes, and Tony almost forgot to answer him. The eyes saw into his soul, making him feel sorry for that cookie he had stolen when he was seven years old.

"H-Howard." he mumbled, saying the first name that got into his brain. That wasn't a complete lie- his second name was Howard. That seemed to make Rogers smile, revealing a set of perfect teeth. "I once had a friend named Howard."

"I-" Tony began to answer, but a shot was heard and something hit him. The Captain catched him, automaticly protecting him behind his body. Tony saw Clint, who probably hit him, jumping from the floor, a woman with red hair shooting at him something that seemed like a lightning. 

It didn't take a Stark to figure out that their cover was exposed.

Tony twisted the second button of his suit. It fell right on the floor, making a cloud of smoke appear. He pulled out the gun- three direct shots at his opponent. The Captain fell on the floor as Clint catched Tony's hand, pulling him towards the doors. The redhead ran after them, and Tony already felt her hand catching his, electric sounds of shockers that are heating--

Clint jumped out of the window, pulling Tony with him. "FLY!" he shouted, and the shoes appeared to listen this time. The two of them flew into the sky like a rocket, the cold wind making Tony shake a little as she entered under his sleeves, where the shreds of glass cut holes in his clothes.

"How the fuck did she got you?!" Tony hissed at Clint, who looked at the ground with ashamed look.

"She's..." he sighed. "Her name is Natalia Romanova. In the times when I worked at SHIELD I was responsible of killing her. She was tiny back there. If I was 22, and you around 18, she was aroud 17, more or less." Clint shot a bunch of bullets and with a very accurate kick broke the window. "I just couldn't kill her. I was new to this shit, you know? So I took her with me, back home. They've fired me and hired her on the spot when they saw her skills." Tony bended, resting his legs on the seat, as he tried to turn on the engine. He opened his pocketknife, begining to undo one of the screws. 

"Typical SHIELD." answered Tony. "Giving them the best man ever and they take some soviet junk." 

Clint laughed. "Thanks, man. That should become a slogan, you know."

Tony nodded and connected two wires, the engine in return making a growl sound. "Ready." he said, and the familiar sound of a take off was heard.

Just not from their helicopter.

Clint quickly typed on a few buttons and Tony was thrown on the bench as they began to climb. "What the fuck, man-" he stopped midsentence, staring with wide eyes as a part of the city began to go up, towards the skies.

Now, that was a big-scaled base.

"Fucking SHIELD." both of the agents muttered simultaneously.


	2. First (and possibly last) Impression - part 2

"So... a part of New York just began rising in the skies." Clint pointed out and Tony nodded, unable to speak.

"H- how?" he whispered to himself. Something this big couldn't rise  _that_ easily with the engines that are known today, not even with the engines that Tony invented. Which means they have  _way better_ engines, so they have smarter men, or they were lucky and found some huge energy source.

Clint probably thought just the same, because he pressed the scanning button just as Tony began moving his hand towards it. Both of their hands touched each other, and the image of the Captain flashed in his mind. Clint's hand wasn't as warm; his hand was rough and covered with tiny white scars.

Rogers' hand was soft, warm and big. Just like a blanket, Tony felt that the hand covered his, hiding it from the rest of the world and possibly protecting it. His fingers were long, but not as Tony's- he got his pianist fingers from his mother, Maria. Rogers' hand clinched his before, when they danced- like he was going to escape every second.

Tony cleared the thoughts about Rogers from his head as a flashing red LED noted the scanning was ended. "Well?" the driver asked, and Tony looked at the rough scanning that was shown on the screen. Thanks god it was a military helicopter. 

"...Wow." Tony said, looking shocked at the scannings. It can't be. But maybe... "I have never saw anything near like this, not even at a nuclear plant. This thing is... powerful. Like, can destroy the world powerful. We need to get rid of it as fast as we can." 

Clint sighed and turned his look to Tony. "At least we can count on SHIELD to make our life interesting, huh?" 

The engineer smirked. "Yeah. Any ideas?"

Clint nodded. "Actually, yes. You remember Hulk, don't you?" Tony chuckled quietly. "Hard to forget." "Well, SHIELD are trying to recruit him, so they probably have something strong enough to stop him. And because he's durable to any physical harm, that means they have to block him- by some kind of container."

Tony's eyes widened. "You want to use the container for the energy source. In fact, they're probably already using it- it's hard to keep such strange and unpredictable energy in a box, you know. We just need to hit the basis in the right way and we'll be able to free the energy source. It's not too deep- they need a plan B, in case something happenes. To get rid of the energy fast."

Clint tapped on the wheel as he thought. "That sounds reasonable. But I think there's another thing you need to know." Tony looked at him, and Clint smiled. "You know Thor." Tony nodded, although Clint didn't ask. "When he arrives Earth, he sometimes talks about something he calls 'Tesseract'. Huge energy source. Funny thing, he says it got lost in... well, in terms of human, around the middle ages. In WWII he said they got energy levels that suspiciously fit very well to what they've known. And look what we got- Captain America was found and suddenly we see something that's very similiar to the Tesseract, which was active in the WWII."

A ring was heard, and Tony felt something buzzing. "That's not yours." his old roommate pointed out, and Tony touched his pocket. "Well, it's definitely coming from my pocket." he answered and looked at the blue screen. It was a smartphone, old one- white, in a brand new blue cover. "Hello." he talked into the phone, waiting for answer. He tried to find out who were in the other side; deep breathes were heard, but not quick. He counted. Around 50 in a minute. It was a trained sports man, at least in an olympic level.

"Howard." he felt shame hitting him as the other side sound so sensitive, so... hurt. 

Betrayed.

"Capsicle." he answered, keeping his voice light. "How can I help you?" 

"No." Rogers said. "That was his name. One of my best friends, maybe the best man I've ever knew. Howard Stark. I'm ashamed he has to share his noble name with a filthy soviet spy like you." Tony didn't answer; that's one of the many things that Clint taught him. Keep quiet when someone insults you. Before he'd met Clint, he'd be shouting a long time ago at Rogers, the dirty Hydra man. How dare he talk about him like that when he took the life of James Barnes, Tony's favourite war hero. 

Talks about it like he was some kind of a Rhodey, his old college friend, who died twenty years ago as he fought for the American nation.

"There are many Howards in the world. I don't think that many of them are such great men." he answered, carefully, making sure he didn't gave the other side any information by mistake.

Maybe he did, because the Captain laughed. "Who talked about the first name?" 

And suddenly, Tony freezed. Because the Captain  _knew_. He knew him, and maybe that wasn't so hard. **_STUPID!_**  Many people told him how much he looks like his father. It didn't take a Stark to figure out who he was when Rogers was such a close friend of Howard? Hell, it doesn't even takes a Barton! _So why did Obi_   _sent him to that mission?_

"Thanks, Tony." answered Clint, and Tony unfroze, surprised. "...I've said the last part out loud?" he asked. "Yes. You've repeated the word 'fuck' fifteen times before you said it, and I made sure that you'll never see that phone again, whoever it was." he gestured the door, and the weight on Tony's chest became a little less crushing.

"He knows me." Tony panted, buring his between his hands. "He knows who I am, it's just a matter of time until they catch me. Stupid, stupid, **stupid**!" he shouted, his hand hitting the dash, which made an unsettling noise.

"First of all, **relax**." Clint said, his voice becoming deeper; comanding. "Take a deep breath." Clint was one of the perfect examples to the change of personality as he changed his voice: he looked taller, his eyes sharper; every vein on his body stood out from his skin, like it knew that at these moments Clint needs as much oxygen as possible.

"Count with me." Clint continued, and Tony knew what was going to come after; their _thing_. Clint knew that Maria taught him to count in Italian. It was their thing, and after she died... Clint caught him crying and repeating it, so the tradition kept rolling.

"Uno. Due. Tre. Quattro. Cinque." Clint counted, his smooth voice covering on the shakes that were heard from Tony's mouth. "Sei. Sette." Clint's voice became louder with every number, and so did Tony's. "Otto. Nove. DIECI!" They've shouted and Clint hit the dash again. "We're going to kick their motherfucking ass!" he added, and a smirk found it's way to Tony's mouth.

"Yes." he said, his eyes widening. "Because I know where the energy source is. The energy of the Tesseract... It was on most of the spectrum. We should've heard noises. I should've. But I didn't, which means the Tesseract was not near Cap  _and_ not near us. They'll put Cap in the western side, close enough to command the big guns but far enough not to die. We're near the north end. Eastern end is too close to the heart of the base, which means it's in the...

"Southern end." Clint completed. "We're going to do a little trip. Hold tight." he said, and turned the wheel so fast Tony was thrown on the door. The noise of a static sound was heard from their radio. "Stark, first warning!" Rogers' voice was heard. "We're in their transmission rage." Clint mutterred as they passed beneath the base, beginning to cross it. Tony looked back, seeing the shiny heads of missiles appearing, following their trail like a police dog.

But some wasn't.

"There's something else around." Tony understood. "They wouldn't reveal themselves just for two agents with helicopter. We're not the only ones who tried to take this golden chance, we just were the first." Clint looked at him as the helicopter kept moving forward.

"Terrorists." he answered, his teeth closed so hard he could've break a nut with them. "The Seven Rings, remember? They've tried to take over one of our missions once."

A blurry memory came to Tony's mind; bearded men with green shirts, trying to break inside a SHIELD's base after Tony and Clint did most of the work. They actually owe them- SHIELD moved the investigation to the NSA and no one's ever suspected them. Not a shred of a green shirt and shouts on the streets.

Until today, of course. They came for four purposes- breaking into SHIELD, causing damage, getting revenge and making an appearnce. "Second warning." the Captain said from the radio, more and more missles being sent on their tail.

And Tony knew what to do; how to save everyone.

Except him.

But he didn't really mattered, did he?

_Die like Rhodey, like Barnes. American Patriot._

_American **Idiot**?_

"We need to split up." he decided. "Try to crush into the tesseract, make it fall. Be as safe as you can." his hand hugged Clint's shoulder, and both of them knew that this what has to be done, but it doesn't mean that Clint liked it.

"They're not stopping!" Clint shouted above the wind and the sound of the helicopter. "Neither are we." Tony answered, the base in the skies getting closer and closer. 

"This is the last warning!" shouted Captain America over the radio, his voice scrappy. Tony could see the missiles' heads even through the clouds, a shiny silver that points towards both of them. "Terroists in six oclock!" he heard Clint's shout, his head snapping between both of the enemies. "There's no safe exit now!" 

Tony took a deep breath. "There is." he said, and pushed the red button in front of him.

All he could hear while he fell was Clint's shout, his open hand trying to reach him as he fell into the unknown, his repulsors adjusting themselves in order to make his landing as soft as they could.

"Thanks, Obi." he whispered, the wind snapping his words as soon as they left his lips.

A shiny blue cube was lighting the skies, chasing after him, maybe even teasing. 

So did the terrorists' planes lights.


End file.
